The Nail in the Irishman's Shoe (1863)

shoe

In this edition: a nail through a shoe, love among drunks, inescapable prisoner, lots of skedaddling, the fake bird, the last Revolutionary

Sunday, October 24, 1863

The Injured Irishman
An Irishman in Newburyport stepped upon a nail, which went through the sole of his shoe, and out of the upper leather. He lay flat on his back, screaming and groaning, while a bystander hastened to draw it out carefully. The good Samaritan then took off the shoe tenderly to bind up the wound, when he found that the nail hadn't pierced the foot at all, but had gone between the first and second toes. The Irishman had screamed merely from the effect of imagination, and now regards it an insult for anyone to ask him about his "foot."

Machias Misbehavior
A man in Machias, Me., who was released from jail on the payment, by his sister, of a fine for drunkenness, went home, took his father's horse and wagon, and sold them: he then returned to the jail, and paid the fine of a woman confined there for drunkenness and lewdness, and the pair started for parts unknown.

Below Zero
A "gentleman" has been advertising in the London papers to say that he wants £150 to "save his credit." He says that he has always helped others, and if 2,100 kind helpers will send twelve stamps he will gratefully return them. The proposal is below zero in its coolness.

He'll Not Soon Forget
Last Saturday morning, as a detachment of substitutes were on their way to Concord from this city, in charge of Orderly Sergeant Feightner, one of their number - John Snyder by name - attempted to escape from the car. He was frustrated in the attempt, however, by Sergt. Feightner, who gave him a severe cut with his sword on the neck, which laid him out for the balance of the trip, and, it is hoped, taught him a lesson that he will not soon forget.

Horrible
A stage driver has been arrested in New York for tearing out the tongue of a horse by the roots, when drunk.

Invalid Chases, Catches Skedaddling Substitute
On Thursday morning, James Miller, a substitute at Jefferson Hall, knocked down the guard and skedaddled. He was seen to pass a corner in rapid flight, by John Schmidt, a six-foot "Invalid," who followed in pursuit. For some time it was a "nip and tuck" race, up one street and down another, but, finally, John captured the runaway in Chapel street, near the school-house, and after a pretty rough handling of the scoundrel, returned him to the hall. Bully for Schmidt!

The Last Revolutionary Dies
The last revolutionary pensioner in Massachusetts, John Goodnow, died at Sudbury last week, aged 102 years. He served eleven months in the war for Independence.

That Old Time Patriotism
110 drafted men and substitutes were taken to Boston from Concord on Monday afternoon. Three of them attempted to escape; one succeeded, the other two were fired at and wounded - one severely.

The Chairman Skedaddles
J. Edward Pitman, the Chairman of the board of Selecting in Bartlett, having been conscripted, has skedaddled.

The Plumage Did Enter Into It
An English bird-fancier has been swindled in purchasing two "rare and beautiful" foreign birds, which proved to be English green finches with handsome tails fixed on by means of sealing wax.

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