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| Goofing Off Online |
SITE OF THE WEEK
The problem with holidays and vacations is that, once turned on, they are difficult
to turn off. We all, ultimately, want not to return to work. Vacations imply the
faint hope that we can escape the grinding workplace, but most of us cannot.
SEE: Links to sites below
So in January back to work we trudge. I would not be the first to note how similar the life of the modern corporate employee is to the life of a New England mill worker in the 19th century. Sure we drive our own cars, take longer breaks, and sometimes get healthcare insurance – but largely it is the same life. The computer, thanks to wireless technology, has been emancipated, but the computer operator has not. We sit before the glowing screens like textile workers shackled to their looms. Increasingly, statistics tell us, we are working more hours than our ancestors did just to make ends meet.
Meanwhile, the laws of mathematics too have not altered. In order for a few people to make a large amount of money, a large number of people must make less. If you work at a computer, even at home, and someone else pays your salary or wages, you belong to an enormous army of laboring drones. If you live from one holiday to the next, praying for the coming weekends and a two-week annual break – you’ve got it bad.
So to stay sane, and perhaps to get revenge for a life of toil, we goof off. Instant messaging and text messaging from cell phones is on the rise. Employees are spending more time chatting than ever before, according to the latest computer polls – all of which I’m too lazy to look up at the moment. But trust me, the world is unwinding.
THE WEB SITE MAKERS
It is January and, like you, I feel like the world owes me something. I have earned a year off or a lucky lottery number. I have earned, at least, a trip to some of those time-wasting web sites frequented by the Dilberts of the world. So here we go (some sites not for kids)
:Works’ Not Fun
A portal for people who hate work, including special "disgruntled" links for
those who hate everything. I found, however, a ton of dead links and, if the traffic
counter is correct, I get more readers on my site in a week than these guys get
in a year. Some funny stuff, but you have to dig, plus lots of annoying pop-up
ads.
I Work With Fools
Another often-touted cyberslacker site that seems to have more attitude than
fun. Bloggers rant about their sad lives and bad bosses. Misery loves company.
Pogo
Sign up for the latest animated games online. I never sign up, download or pay
for stuff, so you’re on your own here. But this site is listed as one of the top
office time wasters.
Office Humour (British)
This was my favorite. I wasted a good two hours watching donkeys sing harmony
and playing Turkey Shoot. There is a Time Waster section, plus hundreds of games
and cartoons, all aggregated from other sources on a very simple databased list.
Check out The Meatrix for an animated tale of factory farms. This site is not
for kids.
Bored at Work
Just a list of goof-off links. It took some searching, but I found a funny animation
of a squirrel and a penguin playing dueling banjos. Also an animated version of
Rock, Paper, Scissors for those too lazy to use their own hands.
Wrath II
Wrath II is an elegantly game like Tetris that you can play all day. Simply keep
Harvey the Square from banging into the moving background. There are other web-based
games here, some too big for my computer to load.
Office Diversions
There are supposed to be 1001 office diversions here. I have no idea how deep
this one goes. I never got beyond the first two. Started playing an online jigsaw
puzzle and was still working at it when my timer went off. But there is also a
superb office billiards game. Very realistic.
Corporate Dump
An intriguing trash pile of office diversions including a database to track your
time wasted in the bathroom, a 3D simulation of an office worker not working,
fake office memos and pink slips, office prank directory, plus thousands of funny
(sometimes disgusting) images that have been floating around on the Internet.
Ebaum’s World
Mind-candy for the afflicted – this is an extensive library of the most updated
junk available on the Internet. Seems to be bottomless. Mind-candy for the afflicted
– this is an extensive library of the most updated junk available on the Internet.
Seems to be bottomless.
I Should Be Working
Includes Office Survival Guide and Loafing Tips section. When the boss comes
by, hit the Panic Button and the web site pops up a fake search engine homepage
to disguise your loafing. Includes Office Survival Guide and Loafing Tips section.
When the boss comes by, hit the Panic Button and the web site pops up a fake search
engine homepage to disguise your loafing.
How Stuff Works
I prefer to waste my time on sites that give something back. How Stuff Works
mixes education with procrastination.
Dilbert
The original office slacker’s own web site.
Addicting Games
Yeow! Watch out for this one, as the name implies. Under Games may I recommend
more Crab Volleyball, the Helicopter Game, the ever popular Diamond Mine and Eat
the Fly. You’ll need a Flash player which you probably already have.
BBC "The Office"
This one is from the PBS TV-show about life in a dreary company. This is the
cyber version of tossing a balled up piece of paper into the wastebasket. It’s
harder than it looks, thanks to a couple of office fans that change position.
I managed a score of Four in a row after 20 minutes of practice. Some geek has
made 1,502 successful dunks in a row. I’d hate to be his boss.
THE UP SHOT
We’ve come a long way since Microsoft added Solitaire to all our computers. Web
pundits estimate that employees waste 25% of their computer time on personal or
"nonwork activities". That is supposed to be costing company owners $100 billion
a year, and that stat is four years old. On the Web, numbers only get bigger.
And after a nice fat holiday, things get even worse.
I used to have employees, so I know. Even the nicest boss cannot help but check-in
on the worker bees now and then, just to make certain things are humming along
at a profitable rate. Over a dozen years as a very small business owner, I came
to especially dread the double-whammy goofing-off period when both Christmas and
New Year’s Day fall in the middle of the week. If you’ve never been the boss –
and I don’t mean a manager, but the company owner himself -- then you cannot understand.
For two solid weeks, almost nothing gets done. Then too comes the cost of the
holiday bonuses, the office parties, the customer giveaways, the seasonal discounts
and the charitable contributions.
Experts believe this trend could really become a major problem in the future since the Web produces an endless array of distractions and bosses are finding more insidious ways of tracing their employees online. But I’ve wasted too much time this week to dig any deeper. Besides it’s almost time to leave work. Just another few minutes of online Cribbage should do the trick.